Bargaining is where the mind replays every possible scenario, searching for ways things could have been different. It is a stage defined by negotiation—an attempt to exchange, plead, or sacrifice in hopes of undoing what has already been lost, often at the expense of oneself.

In this painting, I aimed to capture the raw desperation that surfaces during this stage. The subject is depicted performing a ritual over a heart, dying roses, and burning candles. These elements symbolize devotion, decay, and sacrifice, offered in the hope of resurrecting what once was. Behind her, skulls loom as a quiet reminder that what is done is final, no matter how deeply we wish it were not.

The use of black and red throughout the series reflects the intensity and weight of grief, underscoring the emotional depth of the work.

When I decided to begin, this series bargaining was not actually the first one I was going to paint it was actually going to be denial. However, the more that the painting started to develop the more I felt as it was meant to be to represent bargaining. I was identifying with a time in my life that I had lost a romantic relationship. It was the first serious relationship I’d ever been in and I was wanting so badly to turn back time so that I could fix my behavior wishing that I could’ve saved the relationship. 

I wanted this painting to represent the absolute desperation you feel when something has happened and there’s a finality to the result and you can no longer take back what has been done or what has occurred. I wanted it to also represent the desperate sacrifices. You’ll be willing to make if it means that you get another chance.