The Why
First — I’ve never written a blog post in my life.
However, I’m trying to expand not only how I create, but also how I show up and share both myself and my work.
So, welcome — and here goes.
Where does my inspiration come from?
When I was in architecture school, the number one question we were constantly asked was, “What is your concept?”
Over and over, through each stage of a project, this question came up until we could explain what it was, front to back, about every single detail and component. If you had a strong concept, you had a story — a subject to help you expand your project, theme, or idea, and more or less always be able to make it a success.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself: Why do I paint what I paint? What exactly is my concept, my driving force?
While I was attending community college, my ceramics professor shared something she had noticed throughout her life as an artist and teacher: certain themes, symbols, and shapes tend to follow us in our work.
For her, it was birds and barbed wire.
As I began analyzing my own work over the years, I noticed a clear pattern: the female figure has always been a central theme of mine.
This one is from 2015. Ink and colored pencil was my medium of choice back then.
You’ll have to forgive me for this one but its a miracle I could even find something I created from a decade ago.
This was a sketch I used for a project I made in my jr. year of high school.
This is from around the same time as the sketch before this, so maybe 2016?
Chicken or Egg?
From a very young age, I carried a deep compassion for women — one that felt heavy under the weight of how our feminie sexual nature was constantly violated, used against us, or taken from us. I felt a strong desire for justice, for liberation.
Aside from the obvious experiences of being a woman in this world, I think — well, know — that much of this came from the religion I grew up in. One that always viewed women as second. As daughters and wives who were expected to be nothing but obedient. Submissive and palatable to the liking, desire, and needs of men.
This wasn’t uncommon even outside of religion, obviously — but if you grew up as a woman in a Christian home, you’re well aware of these notions.
I’m not saying any of this to bash religion or Christianity. It’s simply what I experienced and internalized from the common teachings and the Bible growing up.
Anyway, my way of expressing my feelings about this was through anger — through vulgarity. My aim was to offend, to push the boundaries I was raised to believe about myself and women.
Funny enough, I hadn’t even practiced religion or been to church past the age of 15 — right before I left home. But sometimes it takes years to work out and untangle the feelings and experiences of our childhoods.
I believe my desire to create nude art of women was, yes, at first, a way to push back through vulgarity.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize it was more about reclaiming what I was always taught was never mine to begin with.
So what began as an expression of anger and resentment has, over time, blossomed into everything I create now — which, at its very core, stems from love (and a deeply healed sense of both the masculine and feminine).
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that we are much more efficient, effective, and productive as beings when we move, act, and live from a place of love.
However, anger, resentment, and all other emotions are powerful tools — necessary to be felt, expressed, and eventually transformed. It’s this duality that allows us to find resolution, to create, to metamorphosize.
SO, back to the whole chicken-or-egg question. I’m a Libra rising, and Libra is ruled by Venus — the planet (and beloved goddess) of beauty, love, and justice, symbolized by the scales. She often appears as a muse in art and sculpture — in fact, I once bought a lamp-fountain featuring her image, not even realizing it was her at the time. I still have it to this day.
With Venus as my ruler, I sometimes wonder if it was simply destiny for me to move through this life guided by the divine feminine of love, beauty, and justice — using creativity to express and transform through her essence.
Make it stand out
When I die, please bury her with me.
While it may be easy to reduce my work to the sexual nature of the female form, that is far from my sole intention. To disregard the beauty of its sexuality would be foolish—most of us can recognize its unparalleled beauty in that vulnerable state. But to define it only by that would be a disservice.
The female body not only creates life, but also holds it, nurtures it, and quite literally transforms to bring the world to life. There’s a reason artists of every kind have relentlessly continued to use it as inspiration throughout history.
Returning to my initial question of why I paint the subjects that I do—this is what I hope my art conveys: the ethereal, diverse and powerful nature of the female body in all its forms. Each piece holds a story, a moment, a piece of my life—a piece of me. My hope is the women and really anyone can find a new perspective of themselves and their own story through my work as well.
One of the things I love most about creating art is that as you grow, as your skills evolve, and as you absorb more of the world, your art evolves right alongside you. What comes to life on the canvas is often unpredictable—sometimes it tells a story of my own that I didn’t even realize I was telling, bringing it to life in visual form.
My hope is the women and really anyone can find a new perspective of themselves and their own story through my work as well.
